Don't miss out on this goodness.
I am a pro at sulking.The key is to be sure I’m deserving of my sulk. You know what I mean, right? In whatEVER situation. The story becomes what I want it to be. Regardless of reality. “That was all his fault.” “I guess I am just stupid.” In my head, I’m justified.
In reality, I’m sulking.
See that? As long as I’m justified, in my head, my behavior is A-OKAY with me.
Here’s the thing–it’s crazy.
I am a pro at avoiding reality. You know that “real” situation.
The one where I maybe didn’t follow through on the project because I binged on Netflix. And when the due date arrived; I wasn’t ready. And so I bombed. Yeah, that reality. Did I really do my best?
But knowing I didn’t bring my best really hurts. Because I care what people think of me.
I want people to think I’m perfect; even if I don’t bring my best.
So I avoid that icky pain stuff and blame something, anything, anyone. And in my head, all is well.
Enter one of the oddest stories in the Bible.
These are like the first kids of humanity.
Yay humans, right?
Abel brings God the results of his labors. So does Cain.
Abel gets the “Good job, son.” Cain does not.
God shows up asking questions. “Cain. Why are you sulking?”
“Cause Abel always wins.” Pout. And arms crossed. You see his expression right? If you have 2 yr old, or a 12 yr old, you see it!
“Cain, did you really bring your best?”
“Oh come onnnnn, God.” “Cain. This is not about Abel. I want you to do better.”
I have about a million triggers when it comes to failure. Maybe Cain did too.
I hate to fail. Cain had failed.
His lack of preparation was the “real” story.
And the pain was maybe too much?
Cain ran–“All of this is Abel’s fault.” Cue blame and avoidance.
So Cain and Abel argue. Cain kills Abel.
God: “Cain…” This story reveals a lot about human behavior; I see me in the story.
As a grown up, I am responsible for me. My emotions. My thoughts. My choices.
Sometimes I don’t try. Sometimes I am flat out lazy. Sometimes I just want someone else to do it for me. And when it goes off the rails?
And then God comes along, “Heather, why are you sulking?”